I'm here in Zanzibar, having extended my stay by two weeks. I was here for the film festival which should be effectively renamed to cultural festival, as the cultural festvities are much more than the film festival. Anyway, in a bid to understand the slave trade- the arabs, britiish, french and german role, I have visited all the areas related to the trade that saw my people's forceful en masse migration.

After visiting the former slave chambers and cave- where the illegal slave trade took place after it was abolished in the last quarter of the 19th century, I decided itwas time to vist the slave market. I could have visited the slave market two weeks before as I had stayed at the saint Monica's hostel which is on the site of the slave market but I did not.

Yesterday I visited the slave market and there is nothig to see. The former slave chambers now house the sleeping quaters,dining area and souveniour market run by the Anglican church. Apparently the Anglican church prides itself as the real liberator of 'Poor Africans' from the slave trade. I have no qualms with that, only that once inside the church from coner to coner on golden plaques are names of the british Marine liberators. Some eve boast to have died in the service of her Majesty.

It was shocking to me that no 'slave' name was on a golden plaque. Niether was there a mention of the atrocities in a plaque. Whereas you have a crucifix made of a tree under which DR.Livingstone died in Zambia.

Livingstone, as you may all know is a famed anti-slavery campaigner. He is quoted at the slave chambers as having said that Britain shall never be guilt free unless the trade had stopped and every African become a christian. Meaning the only way to increase the number of native christians is to free slaves and thereafter enslave them to christianity.

Indeed many of the freed slaves were handed over to missionaries for their immediate baptism. Needless to say that christianity was the root base of colonialism in Africa.

Tears: I looked back and felt the spirit of all the slaves taken away coming back to me. The spirit of defiance, their meekness as they were reduced to merchandise.

While seating  on the pew of the anglican church, standing on the slave market, I heard a black Zanzibari man- Most likely a decendant of a slave, explain the mightiness of the british soldiers. I wept!

1. whose role is it to save a world destined to die yet we cannot stop living? - Marvin Gaye

2. Suffer Suffer Suffer Suffer Suffer Suffer for what? Now your fault be that.- Kuti

3. Everywhere the same thing suffering and smiling? Why?- Kuti.

4.what am I soldier for? Why did they give me a sword if not I'am not to use it? Do you think I am just going to march past with it? P' Bitek.

5. Is all we can do juat sit and wait?

Now from Vincho

1. How are we going to decolonise the millions of african people including the ones going through the same educational system we never really divised? Whose role is it anyway?

2. When did we really lose it? Is it when we abandoned our African spirituality and embraced Christianity and Islam?

3. Could we be at  par with china and India even if we had stuck to our heathen practises?

4. Is there any single african concept/ idea that can claim to never have based its standards on a western/foreign ideology?

5. Please tell me of any african indigenous foods that are still be cultivated on large scale? Is it why we are sicker than ever?

6. I read the Jakaya Kikwete's Aunt has never fallen sick and she is in her eighties, what could be the secret?

7. Should we stop talking. if we talk and see no changes un the things we are fighting for/against?

8. Is it right for AU, Obasanjo and Mbeki to sit down with other African Elite compose a document as a NEPAD blue print with brilliant ideas then at the end list the international institutions and Unions they are going to beg for money to achieve this? was there not another way we could realise this?

9. Do we have lessons to learn from Hugo Chavez? How do Venezuelans feel in their hearts when they realise they owe no one- no they need no one?

10. Is it neccesary to suffer before we see the light? I.e refuse all AID, pay back all AID, become like Zimbabwe-trade with each other and then start from scratch.

11. Is it Ok that sometimes I cry when I look around and realise all my efforts a tiny little drop in the ocean?

The Kenyan Authour,Ali Mazrui, went to a great length with the help of BBC to describe and explain the Afrikaans through his thirteen hour documentary titled triple heritage. The film whose aim I cannot claim to know convinced me in the end that Africans are a very confused people about who they really are.

As Africans we have strived since indipendence to live up to a certain exotic image of us invented by our former colonial masters. It is either that or we are trying very hard to convince the rest of the world that we too can exhale and infact take to greater heights their inventions. How else can you explain why we are the most joyous when we realise that one of us has won a grammy,an oscar, exaled in the world of Golf or even become the first black man to enter the formula one.

The realisation that we all abandoned our invetions, food and 'culture' at the advent of Indipendence. We have Pan- Africanists fighting for African ideals based on western ideals. Myself I cannot explore the tradional religious practises of my people. Not only can I not explore I'm in deed in great fear of what I might find. Why- I was taught that it was something terrible and after growing up I cannot still shake off this teachings.

My biggest question then is, how and when will I be brave enough to mirror myself. To shake off all the teachings that were and are still being passed on to me and start from Zero? What does it take to say- Goodbye world and your teachings- welcome self discovery?

Indeed if I suceed in doing this then what next? How will I do the same for the millions of Africans going through the same education only to realise at a very late stage that it is of no use! I wonder everyday if ours is a lost cause.

What is a unsettled spirit to do in all this chaos? For this I post my questions for my fellow Africans response in my next blog.

Has anyone noticed how most people's entusiasm wanes with age. Im turning 25 in April and Six, seven years ago I thought I would change the world. Now, I just play along with the world. Follow it wherever it takes me. How can one keep the entusiasm and if it is gone, how do you bring it back?